"**** Happens" - A Perspective-Altering Statement

I got to learn a fun life lesson today.

I've spent the last week cleaning out my late father's house so we can sell it. Rather than spend $500 on a dumpster, my neighbor generously offered me his new 2013 Ford F250 and a large trailer behind it so I could haul garbage to our landfill. Naturally that's when it decided to rain in Iowa, and I was so fortunate that my dad's driveway is a steep climb made entirely of dirt.

At some point when backing up the trailer and getting stuck in gouges in the mud, I apparently decided to jackknife the trailer in to his truck. I didn't see it until he called me today and asked me about it. One thing to know about my neighbor is that he is the biggest teddy bear I know, but he's also a bounty hunter who's had weapons pulled on him. So when I get a call from this giant-of-a-man telling me I banged up his new truck, I was ready to barricade myself in the house.

I went over and talked to him about it, and he wasn't even phased. After my third or fourth time apologizing, he told me something that caught me by surprise. "**** happens. I know the risks involved in loaning out my truck, and it's not like I've never done it."

Naturally I'm paying to have it fixed, but that statement was still a bit profound. When you let someone handle your stuff, whether it's your video games, miniatures, cards, whatever... there's a risk involved. Not that the person shouldn't be more careful, but life happens and people make innocent mistakes. Why do we get mad about it? Because we aren't the ones who screwed it up? Models get dropped, spilled drinks gravitate toward Magic cards, and video games aren't the indestructible plastic bricks they once were.

Honestly, I'm ashamed at myself for any time I've felt frustrated with a friend for doing something I could easily have done. Heck, I've dropped a model or scratched a game disc. I always fix what needs fixing, as does anyone who ruins my stuff, so why let it matter? In the end it's just stuff anyway.

Of course we can't talk about this without mentioning the people who simply aren't careful with our stuff. But if you know they can't be trusted with it, why let them touch it? I know I've sat there and grimaced as someone handled a $50 Magic card like it was a deck of Bicycle playing cards. But I didn't say anything as I waited for them to ruin it so I could get upset about it.

It's silly in hindsight, but don't we all do that? We wait to be victims of people who show us they can't be trusted. We wordlessly get upset and deny them the opportunity to learn how to be a decent human being because they continue in their innocent ignorance. Instead of holding anger at someone, I should do the decent thing and talk to them about it so that it can be resolved. If they won't handle my stuff properly, they don't get it. Simple as that.

So I guess all this rambling boils down to two things. If you let someone handle something, make sure you trust them not to break it while being ready to forgive them if they do. And if someone proves themselves unworthy of your trust, explain it to them rather than letting anger or frustration poison your friendship.

Likewise if you damage someone's stuff... fix it.

See you tomorrow!